WHITE GUILT IS DEAD
By Tom Adkins Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shuffling along, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I’m virtually euphoric. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not thrilled with America ’s flirtation with neo socialism. But there’s a massive silver lining in those magical clouds that lofted Barak Obama to the Presidency.
For today, without a shred of intellectually legitimate
opposition, I can loudly proclaim to America: The Era of White Guilt is over.
This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority of white
Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, and enthusiastically pulled the
voting lever for a black man. Not just any black man.
A very liberal black man who spent his early career race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church
for 20 years, and actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow!
Some resume! Yet they made Barak Obama their leader. Therefore, as of Nov
4th, 2008, white guilt is dead.
For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our necks,
retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, American liberals began
yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eye of black Americans,
exacerbating the racial divide to extort a socialist solution.
But if a black man can become President, exactly what significant barrier is left? The election of Barak Obama absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt.
The dragon is hereby slain.
So today, I’m feeling a little “uppity,” if you will. From this day forward,
my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now exactly ZERO. It’s
time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright’s “God Damn America ,” Al
Sharpton’s Church of Perpetual Victimization , or Jesse Jackson’s rainbow racism.
Cornell West? You’re a fraud. Go home.
All those “black studies” programs that taught kids to hate whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final.
Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up. ACORN?
Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black separatists? Find
another nation that offers better dreams. Go ahead. I’m waiting.
Gangsta rappers? Start praising America . Begin with the Pledge of
Allegiance. Please, no more ebonics. Speak English, & who knows where you might end up?
Oh, yeah…pull up your pants. Your underwear is showing. You look stupid.
To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America ? I’m still
waiting for the first black French President.
Let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I’ve always despised lazy white
people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people. You’re poor because you
quit school, did drugs, had 3 kids with 3 different fathers, & refuse to work.
So when you plop your Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin’ butt on the couch &
complain “Da Man is keepin’ me down,” allow me to inform you: Da Man is now
black. You have no excuses.
No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because someone’s
great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain and misery at the
hands of people I have no relation to, and personally revile.
It’s time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon the heap of
the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife swapping, next to
dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free love and cop-killing. Careful…don’
t trip on streaking. There ya go, don’t be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your
hands. It’s filthy.
In fact, Obama’s ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you sell class
envy & American unfairness when you & your black wife went to Ivy League
schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires, bought a mansion, and got
elected President? How unfair is that???
Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaign rendered itself moot by it's own victory!
America is officially a meritocracy. Obama’s election has validated American
conservatism!
So, listen carefully…Wham!!!
That’s the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of white guilt.
The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirt shoveled, and
tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.
However, despite my glee, there’s apparently one small, rabid bastion of
American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for Barak Obama. Hmmm.
In a color-blind world, shouldn’t that be 50-50? Tonight, every black person should
ask forgiveness for their apparent racism and prejudice towards white people.
Maybe it’s time to start spreading the guilt around.
